Do You Swear?

Abstract: Trainees learn the difference between DARN and commitment language Overview: This is generally done as a demonstration, working with five people in front of an audience.

Guidelines: Select five people who are seated close to each other (usually in a row). Tell them that you are going to ask them some questions, and that you want them to give you a particular answer, regardless of the question:
Person 1: “I want to”
Person 2: “I could”
Person 3: “I have good reasons to”
Person 4: “I need to”
Person 5 “I will”
Then you ask a question to which the expected answer is commitment language (I will), and have each person give the prepared answer. If the audience is large, you need a microphone for this.

Example:
Will you take this person to be your lawfully wedded spouse, and be wholly faithful, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, so long as you both shall live?
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Notes: Discuss with the audience what the difference is in these answers, and what is lacking in the first four (DARN). To say “I want to” is not to say, “I will.” To say that you could is not to say that you are going to. Having really good reasons is not the same as deciding to do it. And saying that you need to is not to say that you will do it.

Thanks to: Terri Moyers